Learned Helplessness

Hey there,

So I knew that I wanted to write this post, but I suppose I was just unsure of exactly what I wanted to say about it.

Learned helplessness is when a person learns to stop doing things for themselves, because other people will do everything that they need done for them. Now, usually this is something that I see in my job; however I am noticing this more and more in everyday situations.

Now, the whole reason I wanted to talk about this is because if you do not learn to do things for yourself and by yourself you are never going to get very far in life.

To be quite honest, I never liked to do anything on my own. Whether it be going to the grocery store or going to the gym, being alone was just something that I was never comfortable with. I relate that to always constantly being attached to the hip of my old boyfriend. I was constantly with him and never alone, it was something that I was comfortable with and I liked it that way.

As we all know, most things come to an end. Doors close and chapters end. At the end of the day we all move on. If we fail to move on, life keeps going .. as does everyone and everything with it.
There are two choices that you have to make, you either learn to move on and do things for yourself or you fall behind and watch everyone else move on with life, while you sit & wonder why you aren't going anywhere.

Ultimately, we must learn to take care of ourselves because in the end those who we expected would be there just may not be. Take this in regards to even the simplest daily tasks, anywhere from paying your bills all the way up to finishing your education.
I can admit that even I, myself have done this. I dropped out of school. I regret it with every ounce of my being. I was naive enough to believe things that I was told, and that my current career was "good enough" & that I would never have to worry. Well, this is where things take an unexpected turn... I shoulda, coulda, woulda; stayed in school and that is exactly what I would tell myself if I could go back now.

Never give up your dreams because of what someone else says. Never become accustomed to things always being done for you. Never expect that others will always be there for you.

The whole idea here is - is that you should never give up doing things for yourself. Sure its great not having to worry about doing certain things like... cooking your own meals, washing your own laundry and cleaning your own dishes. It may sound silly to some people out there but believe it or not, I see this more often than not in my career.
Just as an example... a client's spouse will pass away. Said client has no idea how to continue on with everyday tasks, like grocery shopping because the spouse did everything that was necessary. Said client's family and care workers begin to do more and more for them as the days/weeks go by. Eventually, they have become so accustomed to this learned helplessness that they no longer even wash their own face... because this is something that you now do for them.
I have unfortunately seen countless situations like this. A person also does not have to be elderly for learned helplessness to take place.

 Maybe I am just rambling now, I honestly can't tell at this minute .. but I'm sure I will edit this later on.

If there is anything that you have learned from this post, I hope that it is to never learn to depend on anyone else except for yourself. At the end of the day, sometimes YOU are the only person that you can count on/depend on.
Nothing in life is ever guaranteed. You should never expect it to be that way. Never settle. Never remain comfortable. What good ever came to anyone who stays in their comfort zone anyways? Only when you step outside of your comfort zone, do you discover new things.

Thanks for reading,

-Lisa